The “Little” Things

…Please help us with phonetic spellings (pronunciations) of names – and the way you each want to be addressed during the ceremony.

…Different elements of your wedding can be arranged in almost any order. Likewise, most are optional. Common sense and personal preference should prevail.

…We don’t use the formerly traditional question: “If anyone knows any reason why this couple should not be joined together in marriage, let him speak now or forever hold his peace.”

…We won’t use the formerly traditional word “obey” in the ceremony. The origin of this term was quite the opposite of the way it’s heard today – it demanded that the man be trustworthy, that the woman could rely upon him to put her best interests ahead of his own – but weddings are no place to be explaining etymology.

…If you desire religious or spiritual elements, or traditions with religious implications, Pastor Ed needs to discuss these with you. Please be sure that you and he agree well in advance of your wedding.

…If you desire specific traditions, rituals, colors or style please let us know well in advance. We can help you with these, as well as introduce their meaning to your guests. Style may include a Hawaiian lei, western boots or similar specifics. Rituals may include unity sand/candle, cord/coins/veil, Ketubah/chuppah, breaking the glass or dish, lock/keys, wine/winebox, roses, salt, hands, handfasting, ring warming, jumping the broom, butterflies, doves, guest candles, readers/soloists/dancers/participants, Canadian signing, and countless others.

…If you want to write your own vows or have extremely unique vows, please discuss this with us early in the planning stage. We can illustrate the strengths and possible pitfalls of various means, and offer helpful suggestions.

…If you are planning a Renewal of Vows, Fiftieth Anniversary, or other ceremony instead of a licensed wedding, We will happily suggest features appropriate to such an occasion.

…Pastor Ed doesn’t read from a text. Therefore he reserves the right to be a bit extemporaneous in the final result. He is warmly, casually, elegant and always personable.

…We can work with or without a microphone, whichever you perfer. Pastor Ed won’t use a stand (these result in poor pictures and typically cause an officiant to look down rather into your eyes) but is accustomed to handheld and lapel microphones.

…Brides – practice lifting floor length gowns from your feet so that this can be done comfortably when using stairs and when turning.

…Walk slowly and naturally. Relax, stay loose, be reasonably flexible. Allow your focus to be upon your feelings and on one another. Be yourselves first. Everything else follows.

…A number of other small but significant considerations go into making your ceremony wonderful. We will discuss these with you as they apply, offering helpful encouragement.

…You’ll not be asked to memorize anything or stress over “what to do when”.